How Seniors Can Have Sex Separate and Together at the Same Time

Almost all of us have masturbated by ourselves, but not many of us have masturbated in the presence of a partner. Many likely consider masturbation to be private and done only in private. We grew up masturbating in secret to keep from being discovered, and that pattern continued into adulthood.

Mutual masturbation is typically defined as sexually pleasuring yourself in front of a partner who is also pleasuring themselves at the same time. It can also be defined as masturbating each other at the same time. “It entails touching yourself in a pleasurable way while your partner(s) touch(es) themselves in a pleasurable way,” explains Indigo Wolfe, sex educator.

Mutual masturbation can be very erotic, something new and different that can bring new life into a routine sexual relationship

Even after being together for years, many people have never masturbated in front of their partner. Perhaps they think it would be embarrassing, or too much like performing in front of them.

It can be very erotic, something new and different that can bring new life into a routine sexual relationship. It can also be very intimate to pleasure yourself in the sight and sound of your partner. As Gabrielle Kassel writes, “It’s the hottest, most intimate thing you can do with your partner—without actually touching each other.”

Benefits of Mutual Masturbation

Mutual masturbation can have multiple benefits that make it worth trying. One of the primary benefits is educational. By watching how your partner pleasures themselves, you receive a great education on how you can best pleasure them. They know how to get themselves off better than anyone.

Watch the techniques they use that give them the most pleasure, and try to use the same techniques when you’re pleasuring them. According to Whitney C. Harris And Alyssa Girdwain, “When you let a partner watch an act so personal, it lets you emotionally connect in a whole new way. It’s the hottest form of sex ed, too. Adding solo play to your rotation can help clue your partner into the spots that ramp up pleasure the next time you actually touch, and vice versa.”

Mutual masturbation gives couples the opportunity to explore sex outside of penetration

Another benefit is that it gives elders, who may have physical or health limitations to intercourse, an opportunity to explore sex outside of penetration. There’s no pressure on the man to perform, and there’s no requirement for the woman to deal with might be painful penetration.

Mutual masturbation helps us to redefine sex from only “penis-in-vagina (PIV)” to a whole world of erotic acts. In an article in mindbodygreen.com, therapist Michelle Herzog, LMFT, CST, is quoted as saying, “For partners who may not be ready, interested, or able to engage in penetration, mutual masturbation is a pleasurable and connected sexual experience that can be fulfilling for all involved.”

Mutual masturbation guarantees that sexual pleasure will happen since it’s not dependent on what another person does to us. We’re all experts at turning ourselves on, and most of us know the best way to give ourselves an orgasm!

Best Positions for Mutual Masturbation

Partners can lie next to each other on the bed. Many people masturbate lying down, and this can allow the partners to assume the positions they normally use when masturbating alone.

Another position that can be fun is to sit on opposite ends of a sofa facing each other. This allows for maximum visibility of our partner as we stroke ourselves to orgasm at the same time. It can also be fun to sit on a sofa or bed and both masturbate while watching a porn movie both of you find arousing.

Some enjoy having one partner straddle the other, as in the woman-on-top position, but moved forward on the chest. One partner gets a great view, and the other can still access their genitals with their hands.

Variations in Mutual Masturbation

There are many variations that may be used during mutual masturbation:

• Both men and women can use sex toys while masturbating. You can use vibrators like the Hitachi Magic Wand or The Womanizer, dildos, cock rings, and masturbation sleeves.
• Partners can lay close to each other, holding hands, or with one person’s arm around the shoulders of the other.
• One person can touch the other while they both masturbate. For instance, a man can reach over and fondle a woman’s breasts as they both pleasure themselves.
• Both partners can masturbate each other as they lay or sit close together.
• While one partner masturbates, the other can “assist” by touching and telling them how sexy they look.
• Long-distance partners can pleasure themselves while listening to each other on the phone, or watch each other while on a video call.
  

Give it a Try!

Mutual masturbation can be highly erotic, fun, and pleasurable. Since it’s usually considered a secret and taboo topic, it can be very exciting to share with a partner.

If you’ve never done it, build up your courage, ask your partner if they’re interested, and give it a try. Therapist Michelle Herzog suggests these approaches:

• I’m curious about mutually masturbating together. Would you like to try it with me?
• I want to switch things up a bit and thought masturbating together might be a fun way for us to do that. Are you interested?
• I feel like masturbating together could be a really hot way for us to connect. Are you open to talking more about this to see if it fits us?
  

If you try it, and it goes well, it’s a new tool in your box of sexual techniques to pull out from time to time for some variety and fun. If it doesn’t go so well, laugh about it together and move on to something else. Or give it another try at another time. You’ll never know if you’ll enjoy it until you try.

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