How Seniors Can Give Great Oral Sex to a Woman

I didn’t know much about how to pleasure a woman when my wife and I were married. It was months before I first attempted oral sex on her. Even with me not really knowing what I was doing, she enjoyed it.

A short time afterward, she developed a painful Urinary Tract Infection, and oral sex got blamed as the cause. Even though she was afraid of getting another UTI, her desire to again experience the intense pleasure of her first oral sex overcame her fear, and we did it again. And again. And again! Almost fifty years later, it’s still a favorite.

90.9% of the women surveyed reported they enjoyed oral sex.

Writer Sean Jameson reports that, according to a recent survey, 90.9% of the women surveyed reported they enjoyed oral sex. However, 79.4% of the women reported they had at least one unenjoyable experience when receiving oral sex, mostly due to poor technique by the giver. This tells me that we men need more education about how to give good oral sex to women.

Finding Your Way Around a Vulva

Before someone attempts to orally pleasure a woman, he needs to have a basic understanding of female genital anatomy. An article in Wikipedia.com gives a good explanation of the external female genitals, known collectively as the vulva, or in slang as the pussy.

At a minimum, any person attempting to give pleasurable oral sex needs to know the location of a woman’s clitoris and the clitoral hood. In addition, he should understand the location of a woman’s inner (labia minor) and outer labia (labia majora), and her vaginal opening. All of these need stimulation if one is to give good oral sex.

Not Every Woman Enjoys Oral

Although most women love oral sex, there are some who hesitate to receive it. Unfortunately, some women feel shame or negativity about their genitals. They don’t like the way they look or smell and are uncomfortable letting a man get his face between their legs. Sometimes women believe that men don’t enjoy giving oral, and don’t want a man to do so under a sense of obligation.

Men can help women overcome these negative feelings by expressing in no uncertain terms how much they love and enjoy giving oral. Tell her you love the way she looks, that she’s beautiful down there, that you love the way she tastes, that she turns you on. Prove the truth of those statements by your obvious enthusiasm when performing oral on her.

Some women do not become aroused or orgasm as a result of receiving oral. That’s not bad or wrong, it’s just the way they are. All women are different in what arouses them and what brings them to orgasm.

How to Give Great Oral to a Woman

Best Positions

Most women take time to reach orgasm when receiving oral sex, so you want to find a position where you will be comfortable giving oral sex for at least 20 minutes or longer. “Good sex and oral sex are all about the angles… Certain positions give you more direct clitoral stimulation.” Megan Fleming, Ph.D., a sex therapist and marriage counselor in New York City, quoted in an article by Jessica Migala.

The vast majority (67.3%) of women selected “Lying on my back” as their favorite position to receive oral sex. A modification of that position is to raise the woman’s hips with a pillow to make access to her vulva even easier for the man.

Another popular position is for the woman to straddle the man’s face. The 69 position also works, although many women find it difficult to climax when their attention is split between giving and receiving oral sex at the same time. The 69 position was selected as the least enjoyable position for receiving oral sex by respondents to the survey.

Beware of Too Much Too Soon

It’s not usually effective to go directly to oral when you’re with a woman in a sexual situation. Many women first need kissing and touching to start arousal and spark their desire for sex.

“Whereas men are like a microwave that you just press a button and the food is ready to go, women are like an oven. They need to be warmed up, pre-heated even.” Mark Manson, Models

Even when they are aroused, most women find direct clitoral stimulation to be too much too soon. Instead of leading to orgasm, it can result in numbness or pain. It’s typically better to start with other areas of her vulva to increase her arousal, then focus on the clitoris when she’s ready.

Step by Step Instructions on How to do Oral

I’m no oral sex expert, but I and many other men have found the following techniques effective. These may or may not work with the woman you’re with. All women are different and respond to different approaches.

• I recommend you start with gentle kisses above her clitoris, up and down the insides of her thighs, along the crease inside her leg, just outside her outer lips. Breath warm breath onto her vulva. Take your time.
  
• Next, run your tongue along the crease inside her leg, lightly brushing the edge of her outer lips. Tease her and make her want it.
  
• Lick up and down her outer lips on each side, then do the same with her inner lips. Take them into your mouth and gently suck on them.
  
• Flatten your tongue and drag it slowly from below her vaginal opening all the way up and over her clitoris. Point your tongue and penetrate her vagina with it.

Years ago, I read about a technique that I’ve used regularly since. It’s called the “alphabet,” and you can imagine what it involves. Using your moist tongue, trace the alphabet over her entire vulva. By doing this, you stimulate almost all her sensitive areas.

Take your time; Tease her and make her want it.

When she’s fully aroused and wanting more, it’s time to focus on the clitoris. Since all women are different, you’ll have to experiment where your tongue gives her the most pleasure. Some women like a side-to-side motion, some up and down, some diagonal or circular. If you have watched her give herself an orgasm with her fingers, you’ll have a pretty good idea of what type of movement she enjoys.

Once you find the right movement, tempo, and pressure, don’t stop and don’t change it until she comes.

Try some different pressures and movements. When she starts thrusting her hips, making noises, and pulling your head closer, stop experimenting and continue doing what you were doing when she responded. “Pay attention to both verbal and physical cues. The things we do, rather than say, can be helpful guides to what someone is liking (or not liking). If your partner is pushing their vulva into your face and moaning, you can be pretty sure what you’re doing is working. If they’re pulling away or are lying there, dead silent, try something else.” Gigi Engle, writing in Menshealth.com.

Once you’ve found the tempo and pressure that works for her, don’t let up until she reaches orgasm if that’s what she’d like to do. Don’t change the speed or pressure; if you do, she’ll likely lose her build-up to orgasm and her arousal level will drop.

Some women enjoy one or more fingers penetrating their vagina at the same time you’re giving her oral. If this works for her, it will add to her excitement and the intensity of her orgasm. Some women also enjoy anal penetration during oral.

Oral Aftercare

An orgasm from oral is one of the most intense and pleasurable sensations a woman can experience. Women describe oral sex as generating “waves of pleasure” through their bodies, “incredibly intimate,” and feels like “electric shocks all over your body.” Quoted in an article by Ellen Scott. She will feel relaxed, vulnerable, and open after she climaxes.

Kiss her, take her in your arms and hold her, tell her how awesome and beautiful she is as a sexual woman. She needs your care and affirmation after opening herself and intimately sharing herself with you as she just did.

If you’d like to learn more about how to give oral to a woman, I’d suggest you read the book, She Comes First, by Ian Kerner. Helpful articles online include “Eat Pussy Like a Pro With These 18 Oral Sex Tips,” “29 Oral Sex Techniques That Actually Make Women Orgasm,” and “7 Oral Sex Tips On How To Go Down On Her Like A Pro.”

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