Are Seniors Having Sex? An In-depth Elder Sex Study

When I was a young man I assumed, along with most of our culture, that elders didn’t have sex. Sex was for younger people like me, not grandmas and grandpas. I thought seniors were too old, too uninterested, and too physically limited to have active, pleasurable sex lives.

Now that I’m an elder, I know just how wrong I was. Even though my wife and I have been together almost 50 years, we have a continuing desire for sexual pleasure. It turns out we’re not that different from most seniors.

“There may be a good reason grandma and grandpa haven’t returned your phone call.” Donna Turner

LELO, a prominent sex toy company, recently commissioned OnePoll to conduct a survey of 2,000 people aged 50 and older about their sexual practices and attitudes. The results may surprise you. As author Donna Turner writes in her article reporting the results of the study, “There may be a good reason grandma and grandpa haven’t returned your phone call.”

How Often are Seniors Having Sex?

Most elders indicated that they have less sex than they did when they were younger. No surprise there. But 35% said they have sex more often now, and that their sex drive is higher than when they were younger.

Almost half of the elders (45%) said they’ve had the best sex of their lives as they’ve aged. One in eight have sex at least five times a week.

That doesn’t mean elders are having sex in the same way they were when they were younger. 77% have noticed significant changes to their sex lives over the years. Some of these changes have resulted in more sex, some less sex.

The 5 Most Popular Senior Sex Positions

I was surprised to learn “doggy style” was the top sex position reported by elders. I’d assumed most people would report the traditional face-to-face missionary position as the top choice. It ranked as #2, at 38%.

Sex while spooning ranked at 29%. The next two most popular positions were both woman-on-top positions; 28% of elders enjoyed reverse cowgirl, while 27% had sex in the cowgirl position.

Senior Sex in the Dining Room??

The bedroom was the most often used (69%) location for sex. But if you think elders only use the bedroom, think again!

The living room was the scene for sexual hookups by 48% of elders, followed by the bathroom with 38%. The kitchen (28%) and dining room (24%) were the two next most popular locations for sex. Other locations, such as the laundry room, were used by 25% of the elders.

Think about that the next time you visit an elder’s home!

Trying New Things and Multiple Partners

Elders are not as traditional in their approach to sexuality as many in our culture would assume. More than half (53%) indicated they were willing to be experimental in bed and try new sex positions.

More than 33% of the elders polled say they are more comfortable with the idea of having multiple sexual partners now than ever before. A significant percentage of elders have actually become more liberal in their sexual views as they age, not more conservative.

Elders Getting their Sexual Groove On

Our culture continues to support the myth elders are sexless, and being sexy is not “age-appropriate” for seniors. Senior sex is dismissed as rare, and when it happens is characterized as “gross” and unattractive. No wonder people are afraid of growing older since they think it means the loss of what is probably the most pleasurable activity we humans engage in.

“Most elders are sexual beings, and some are experiencing the best sex of their lives.”

Studies such as the LELO survey prove that the myth is not the reality. Most elders are sexual beings, and some are experiencing the best sex of their lives. It’s time to destroy the myth, and talk openly and freely about the reality of elder sexuality.

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