Edging: How to Have Mind-Blowing Orgasms

Many people understand the primary goal of sex to be getting to orgasm as quickly as possible. The “slam, bam, thank you ma’am” mentality is just as true for women as it is for men.

Most of us grew up in sex-negative cultures. Sexuality was permeated with guilt and shame.

Growing up, we learned to orgasm as quickly as possible to avoid the shame of discovery. We had limited privacy and never knew when we might be interrupted by a parent or other family member.

As adults, we have the privacy and ability to choose to take our time having an orgasm. There’s no need to rush. We can attempt to leave behind an attitude of guilt and shame and instead embrace sex positivity. We can affirm that “Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.”

What is Edging?

Instead of rushing to orgasm, there’s another option that will boost your pleasure. Purposely delay your orgasm.

Edging is building sexual arousal to just short of the point of orgasm, then backing off, and repeating the cycle. A high state of sexual arousal is maintained throughout the process.

For a man, that means stopping sexual stimulation just before getting to the “point of no return” where ejaculation is inevitable. For a woman, that means stopping sexual stimulation right before she “tips over” into orgasm.

Another popular word that describes edging is “teasing.” You give enough sexual stimulation to yourself or your partner to get them thoroughly aroused and wanting an orgasm, then tease by backing off.

Why Practice Edging?

Back in the 50s, edging was proposed by Dr. James H. Semans as a means of treating premature ejaculation. By maintaining sexual arousal for a long time without orgasm, it was hoped men could learn to delay their ejaculations.

Recently, edging has gained popularity not as a medical technique, but as a way of enhancing sexual pleasure. Articles describe edging as, “How to Use Edging to Make Sex Even Better.”

Edging can help give you mind-blowing orgasms. By repeatedly building up arousal to just short of the point of orgasm, backing off, then building arousal again, when you do cum it can be explosive. You can achieve more powerful, intense orgasms when you edge to the point of orgasm.

How to Do Edging

You can practice edging whether you’re single or with a partner. The techniques are different, but the objective is the same.

As a solo, you’re obviously doing it to yourself. It takes a lot of self-discipline not to allow yourself to orgasm too quickly.

When partnered, your partner must practice patience. They stimulate you to just before orgasm, back off, then repeat the cycle until they’re ready to allow you to cum, or they succumb to your begging.

1. Edging as a Single

• Prepare your scene. Do whatever makes you feel relaxed and comfortable. Lock the door, turn the lights down low, and put on some relaxing music.
• Set out your favorite lubrication and any sex toys you might want to use. Men often just use their hands; try some coconut oil for a not-too-sticky, not-too-slick experience. Just don’t use it with silicone sex toys (it can degrade the silicon).
• Start out with some general body touching. Gently stroke your arms, legs, breasts, and nipples.
• As your body relaxes and becomes receptive to touch, stroke around your genital area. It’s all about building arousal slowly.
• When you’re ready, rub, stroke or caress your genitals in the way you enjoy most. My partner has a favorite vibrator she uses for solo orgasms, and I use to very effectively edge her.
• Have the intention when you begin that you will not let yourself cum too quickly. It may be helpful to set a specific minimum number of times you will edge to just before orgasm until you allow yourself to cum.
• Don’t allow yourself to get beyond the “point of no return” until you’re ready to cum. Build your arousal slowly and tune in to how your body is responding.
• Most of us know when we reach that point, right before we cum. When you get there, stop or back off stimulating yourself. Men can try squeezing the head of their penis to prevent ejaculation.
• When you’re ready to cum, keep stimulating yourself until you do so. You’ll likely experience one of the most powerful orgasms you’ve had.
  

2. Edging a Partner

• Do whatever type of foreplay you’ve learned arouses each other.
• If bondage puts your partner in sexual overdrive, tie them up in their preferred position after some preliminary kissing and touching.
• If this isn’t your first time together, you’re likely aware of your partner’s sexual triggers and arousal pattern. You’ll likely know their signs of imminent orgasm.
• Start out slowly, raising your partner’s arousal level. Build up to just before they cum, then stop or back off. Switch to a different activity that is less stimulating but still pleasurable, such as stroking their inner thighs, playing with her breasts and nipples, or gently fondling her labia or his balls.
• Repeat! Edge your partner up to just before orgasm several times. You might have to ignore their begging you to let them cum or sighs of disappointment when you stop short of orgasm.
• When you’re ready to allow them to cum, do the same thing you’ve been doing to raise their arousal, then continue as they begin to arch through their orgasm. Don’t stop until they’re too sensitive to continue, or in the case of some women, they start building to another orgasm.
  

Give Sexual Edging a Try to Enhance Your Orgasms

Edging is not something you’ll want to use every time you have sex. Sometimes it’s fun to just passionately take your partner and bring them to orgasm when they’re ready. At times, singles may use orgasm just to release tension or as a sleep aid. In those cases, having an orgasm as quickly as possible might be desired.

I encourage you to try edging those times when you have time and want to experience a mind-blowing orgasm. Either by yourself or with a partner, it can be a technique that can make a sexual encounter special!