Alternative Sexual Relationships for Seniors

The Disney Princess Myth

When we were growing up as baby boomers, most of us bought into the Disney Princess Myth that we learned at the movies. That myth taught us that when you’re in love with that one special person, all of your needs would be met by them and love would conquer all problems.

We assumed that lifelong monogamy was the model for love relationships. We thought that once we found the love of our lives, we’d marry them and live “happily ever after.” It’s the viewpoint we grew up with and we didn’t really have other options to consider.

Most of us discovered from our experiences in life that the Disney Myth is, in fact, a myth. Many, if not most of us, have experienced divorces, sometimes multiple divorces. Many of us have had sexual affairs, and we found that love didn’t mean that our sexual attraction to others ceased.

”A ring around the finger does not cause a nerve block to the genitals.” The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy & Dossie Easton

A minority of our generation has stayed together long term. For instance, my wife and I will be lucky to celebrate our 50th anniversary soon. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t sexually attracted to other people, and it doesn’t mean that we never have problems in our relationship, or that we expect to meet all of each other’s needs.

Many Seniors Now Live Alternative Sexual Lifestyles – “Living Apart but Together”

Many of us have gone through a divorce or two. We’ve been burned and are very hesitant to remarry. On the other hand, we still desire to share sex with another person, an emotional bond, and companionship.

Many couples have chosen to live in their own homes but have a close emotional and sexual relationship with another person who lives in their own home. Living Apart Together is a new trend among seniors.

It is an alternative to a monogamous marriage, but with many of the same advantages. It includes an emotional commitment, a sexual relationship, and companionship. But it also allows individuals to live in their own spaces. If the relationship doesn’t work out later, there is no legal divorce to deal with.

There Are Many Different Alternative Sexual Lifestyles for Seniors to Choose From

1. Casual sex partners. Some seniors choose to be sexual primarily through dating. One-night stands can be passionate, joyful, and pleasurable for both partners. They provide sex without ongoing responsibilities or expectations.

2. Friends with benefits. Friends with benefits are people you like and are friends with that you also share sex with. So there’s a relationship to enjoy, but not a lifelong romantic or emotionally committed relationship.

3. Threesomes and moresomes. Some seniors enjoy group sex, which is sex with more than one person at a time. A threesome may be composed of two men and one woman, two women and one man, or another combination. Some enjoy larger groups. Often a couple invites a third into their bed.

4. Swinging. Some couples enjoy being sexual with other couples. They meet with other couples and play sexually, typically trading partners. Normally, this is viewed as a fun activity they share together as a couple and is considered “recreational” sex. It can involve friendship and affection, but romantic or deeply emotional attachments with others are strongly discouraged.

5. Monogamish marriage. This is a relatively new phrase. It describes a married couple in a committed, emotionally monogamous relationship, but open to sharing sex with others (either together or separately) as mutually agreed.

One or both may be sexually involved with other people with the common knowledge and consent of the couple. At the same time, both partners stress the importance and primacy of their relationship.

6. Hotwifing. A couple enjoys sharing the wife sexually with other men. Sometimes the wife “dates” on her own, in other relationships the husband is always present as an observer or participant.

This arrangement is often the fulfillment of a fantasy held by the husband to share his wife sexually with other men. It’s also the fulfillment of a fantasy held by the wife to experience sex with a variety of other men while at the same time maintaining her marriage and strong emotional bond with her husband.

7. Polyamory. Polyamory (“many loves”) is a very broad term to describe a broad spectrum of non-traditional sexual lifestyles. Used broadly, any of the relationships described above fall within its definition.

When used more narrowly, Poly describes situations where both singles and those already in committed relationships are open to entering into romantic love relationships (including sex) with others. It is considered to be ideal to be in love with multiple partners. It is distinguished in this way from the “recreational sex” approach of swinging, monogamish marriage, and HotWifing.

Seniors Are Free To Choose The Relationship That Fits Them Best

With the death of the Disney Myth, seniors are now free to make their own choices about what type of sexual relationship to have with others. If you’re not sure which would be the best for you, I suggest you do some experimenting.

If a relationship type is not a good fit, don’t do it again. Try something else until you find what you’re most comfortable and happy with.

Experiment and find out what types of sexual relationships work for you and don’t work for you.

Some seniors will have personal or religious beliefs that will limit their options. You should do what’s comfortable and feels right for you.

On the other hand, please don’t judge those who make other choices than you would. We’re all adults with our own different values and moral principles, and we each have the right to choose what’s best for ourselves.