How Older Women Can Deal With Vaginal Dryness

Vaginal Dryness Can Kill Sexual Pleasure

Vaginal dryness is a real problem for many post-menopausal women. It not only is uncomfortable, but when it causes painful intercourse it can lead to a loss of sexual desire. As WebMD says, “The lack of vaginal moisture can have a huge impact on your sex life.”

Women’s Health Concern writes that vaginal dryness is indicated by, “Loss of lubrication and pain during sex – after the menopause, problems with lubrication and painful sex increase.” Symptoms can include loss of lubrication during sex, pain while sitting, standing, exercising, urinating or work.

Causes of Vaginal Dryness

Menopause typically decreases estrogen. This results in thinner vaginal skin and a loss of lubrication. Other causes can include:

• Allergy and cold medications
• Certain antidepressants
• Douching
• Not enough foreplay before sex

How to Treat Vaginal Dryness

If you’re experiencing dryness and painful intercourse, the first step is to seek the help of your gynecologist. A doctor will be able to properly diagnose the problem and suggest a treatment.

Unfortunately, because of the private and personal nature of this issue, many women are hesitant to seek medical help or even talk to their partners about this condition. This, of course, leads to negative consequences and misunderstandings. Lack of treatment also means the dryness and pain will likely continue.

Find the courage to overcome your embarrassment and talk to your doctor. Your doctor has heard it all before and will likely treat your concerns in a professional and caring manner. If you’re uncomfortable speaking with your regular physician, book an appointment with an OB/GYN specialist you don’t normally see. But seek professional help.

a. Estrogen Therapy

If it’s determined that the likely cause of pain and dryness is a decrease in estrogen, a doctor can prescribe medication to increase estrogen levels. This often takes the form of topical cream or a pill inserted in the vagina.

When my wife was experiencing vaginal dryness in her late 50s, she made an appointment with her gynecologist, who prescribed an estrogen treatment. After a couple of weeks of treatment, her sexual lubrication had returned to normal levels and she no longer experienced pain during intercourse.

b. Artificial Lubricant

One effective treatment for vaginal dryness is to replace your natural lubrication with an artificial lubricant before having sex. There are many over-the-counter products designed especially for sexual lubrication, and they can make the difference between pain and pleasure.

Many people, including my wife and I, prefer a water-based lubricant for general use such as Astroglide. Water-based lubricants allow for easy clean-up. On the other hand, they can quickly dry out and lose their lubricating quality and has to be reapplied.

Others prefer a longer-lasting lubricant, such as silicon-based Überlube Luxury Lubricant. While some silicone lubricants can stain clothing and sheets, Überlube is reported to not do so.

In order to be effective during intercourse, you’ll need to use the lubricant both on the vaginal lips and entrance and also inside the vagina. You can use a finger to insert it inside or purchase an inexpensive lubrication applicator such as the PABREY Lube Lubricant Applicator with Smooth Rounded Tip. The man can also place lubrication on his penis before penetrating the woman.

c. Extensive Foreplay Is Often Needed

Sometimes the reason a woman has painful intercourse due to dryness is that her partner has not taken enough time for sexual play before penetration to allow her to become aroused and lubricated. Most women need time for their bodies to produce enough sexual lubrication for intercourse to be enjoyable.

Many women need considerable foreplay to become lubricated. This takes time. Sometimes men don’t understand there’s a difference between arousal in men and women. They think that since they are immediately aroused and ready for penetration in a sexual situation, women are also. As Mark Manson writes in his book, Models, “Men are like a microwave that you just press a button and the food is ready to go…”

While some women are aroused and lubricated very quickly, many are not. As Xanet Pailet writes in her book, Living An Orgasmic Life, “I like to analogize women’s arousal to a cake being baked in the oven. We “cook” from the outside in, slowly and on a low temperature, and the inner part of our cake is the last thing to be ready.”

Take your time with lots of foreplay. The woman needs time to become aroused and for her body to produce the lubrication that makes intercourse pleasurable for her.

Take Action; Don’t Ignore Vaginal Dryness

If you are experiencing consistent pain and lack of lubrication during intercourse, take action and seek the help of a medical professional. A doctor can diagnose the problem and suggest a treatment. Don’t let embarrassment or shyness stop you from seeking the help you need. It’s not worth the cost of the loss of a pleasurable sex life for you and your partner.

If the reason you’re experiencing pain is that your partner penetrates you without allowing adequate time for you to become aroused and become lubricated, talk to him about it. He needs to understand that you need more foreplay and time to be ready for intercourse. Tell him when you’re ready.

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