6 Surprising Things Senior Men Want from Sex

1. Men Want a Feeling of Closeness, A Spiritual Connection with a Woman

One myth about men and sex is that men are just interested in having an orgasm. While that may be true of some men, that’s not true of all men. “Just like women, men want a spiritual experience in bed. It’s not that they expect to see God at the point of orgasm or to transcend the body, but they want what they describe as deep connection or union, to become one with a woman.” Karen Brody, in Open Her.

Most men are seeking a connection with a woman during sex. They hope to break down the defensive barriers of a woman during sex. They desire her to be open and fully vulnerable to him. They seek to join with her in sexual ecstasy.

2. Men Want to Sexually Please Their Partners

Sometimes men, especially younger men, can be very selfish in bed. Their whole focus is on achieving their pleasure, with little interest or concern for pleasing their partner.

Fortunately, as men age, they tend to mature and become more concerned about giving pleasure to their partners. According to Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, as quoted by Carrie Weisman, “Once a guy is in a relationship and cares about his partner, men typically care more about their partner’s pleasure than their own.”

“Once a guy is in a relationship and cares about his partner, men typically care more about their partner’s pleasure than their own.”

Most men enjoy giving pleasure to their partners. In fact, “The moment his partner gets turned on is often the moment men describe as most sexually satisfying.” Laurie J Watson.

3. Men Demonstrate their Love Through Sex

Men typically show their love primarily by actions, not words. This may take the form of long hours at work to help support their partner, or fixing things around the home.

Men also view having sex with their partners as a demonstration of their love. They show their desire, delight, and enjoyment of a partner by being sexual with her.

4. Men Like Sexual Variety

Men typically don’t want sex to become boring or routine. They view sex as an opportunity for varied pleasurable experiences. They like to try a variety of positions and sexual activities to keep things interesting.

Men likely have fantasies they’d like to explore with their partners. Maybe he wants to tie down his partner and take total control over her pleasure. Or, possibly, he wants her to tie him down and take total control over him.

Or perhaps he desires to meet his partner in a hotel bar and pretend like they don’t know each other. He picks her up and brings her to his room for a “one-night stand” of passionate sex. Or, she picks him up and brings him to her room!

For sexual variety, try acting out a fantasy with your partner.

Most men enjoy mixing up the location for sex. It’s fun to use different locations in a home for sex. Or, add an element of the taboo by having sex in the outdoors with a chance (slight) of being caught. See our recent blog post on 7 Great Locations for Senior Sex.

Some men are afraid to share their fantasies with their partners or hesitate to suggest different sexual practices or locations. They are afraid they’ll be laughed at or considered “perverts” for their desire for sexual variety.

Most men would be delighted if their partners suggested their sexual fantasies to act out, new locations for sex, or new sexual behaviors.

There’s nothing wrong with a woman sharing her fantasies, or showing genuine interest in her partner’s fantasies. She can suggest different locations for sex, or trying something new. Most men would be delighted!

5. Men Want Women to Initiate Sex

In our culture, it’s expected men will be the sexual initiators. It is their role to take the lead, both leading to sex and during sex. But many men enjoy it when their partner initiates sex, and they get a break from leading.

When their partner initiates sex, it allows a man to relax and give up control. It also communicates to a man that they are desired and loved.

Men need love, too!

With all of the emphasis on women’s sexuality in our culture, people tend to forget that men also sometimes feel sexually insecure. Men are also very emotional creatures, we just tend not to show it. We need women to reaffirm our sexual desirability.

6. Men Want the Physical Release of Orgasm

No surprise here! Generally, men love to have orgasms during sex. In fact, for many, it is the primary goal for engaging in sex.

Sometimes older men can experience difficulty ejaculating when they want to. They need their partners to give them more direct stimulation, such as oral or a hand job.

Or, after receiving oral or hand stimulation, they can then switch to intercourse when they are highly aroused and thereby reach orgasm. Another option is for men to give themselves an orgasm using their hands while their partner watches or participates.

Older men that can’t maintain an erection can often still have an orgasm with oral, even when soft. Or, they can learn to relax and enjoy the pleasurable sensations from oral, touching, etc.

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